Farmville
by Solo Ensemble
Summary: Spinelli calls Elizabeth over when Jason takes expired cough medicine.


**Note – **This is kind of in the same vein as _After the Honeymoon_ or _Hack_, if you've read those fics of mine. Basically, it's about Spinelli being a psycho and Jason putting up with it.

**Farmville **

_(585): I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours._

**.: Hospital :.**

Elizabeth waited until her friends left the locker room before pulling out her phone and withdrawing to a more secluded area by the supply cabinets. No one ever went there. She pulled out her phone and hit the second speed dial button.

He finally picked up, and she smiled at the sound of his voice.

"Jason, hey, it's me."

"_Hey."_

"Listen, I'm at the hospital and my shift just finished."

"_Okay."_

"Cameron's sleeping over with a friend tonight, so I'm pretty much on my own."

"_Okay."_

She bit her lip, pinching the fabric of her scrubs. "I was just wondering what you were up to tonight."

"_Okay."_

Wait, was he not paying attention to her? That wasn't like him. "Jason? Did you hear me?"

"_What?"_

"I was just saying that I was wondering what you were doing tonight."

"_Who?"_

"You!"

"_Where?"_

"Not where, when," Elizabeth replied, wondering just what in the world was wrong with him. "I was wondering what _you_ were doing _tonight_! You know, to see if you wanted to take the bike out, maybe head to the ruins or something…?"

"_Can't have to harvest okay bye."_

She blinked at the dial tone, trying to understand what the hell he'd just said. It was very unlike Jason not to pay attention to her, and even more unlike him to hang up on her. Something had to be wrong if he was acting this way, but from the sound of his voice, it didn't really sound like it was business-related. Maybe Spinelli would know more about it.

Wait a second, did he just say he had to _harvest_?

~*~*~*~*~*~

**.: Harborview Towers :.**

"Fair One!" Spinelli grabbed her arm before Elizabeth could even knock twice and dragged her into the room. "I'm so glad you came. Thank you for actually believing me when I told you what happened. No one believes me! Mister Corinthos Sir threatened to have me institutionalized!"

He was making his patented sad-face, and she hated his sad-face, so she patted him on the cheek. "Don't worry, Spinelli, it's going to be okay. Where is he?"

"He's over here," he said, leading her by the hand. Jason was sitting on the floor, leaning against the massive cabinet that stored random knick-knacks that Sam and Courtney had collected over the years before they moved out, with Spinelli's computer in his lap, clicking feverishly.

Elizabeth exchanged concerned glances with Spinelli and slowly knelt down beside him. "…Jason? Hi."

He grunted.

"What are you doing?"

"Harvesting," he muttered, his eyes glued to the screen. "Motherfucking pumpkins. Won't harvest fast enough."

"Jason…" Elizabeth reached out and tried to take the computer from him, but he yanked it right back. "Jason, please, you have to stop."

"Can't stop," came the automatic answer. "Have to harvest pumpkins. Milo's doing the peppers and Max is doing corn."

"Why don't you let them harvest the pumpkins?" she suggested hopefully.

"Not fast enough," Jason replied. "They pick too slowly. Can't hire good help these days. Especially on your farms."

Spinelli sighed. "He's been like this for the past two hours. I can't get him to do anything."

"Why don't you ever throw the cough medicine away?" Elizabeth demanded. "It's not that hard – once it expires, you throw it out. You don't let Jason drink it!"

"How was I supposed to know?" he asked, throwing his hands up in the air. "I don't even take cough medicine! It messes me up worse than this!"

She growled in frustration and turned back to the enforcer. "Jason, you're not feeling well."

"Feel fine," he chirped, still clicking. "Still got lots of picking strength left."

"But…" Elizabeth was having trouble coming up with what exactly to say in this situation. "Jason, you don't farm!"

"I _could_ farm," he said stubbornly. "Maybe I was supposed to farm all along, but I got side-tracked by Sonny. Maybe after the accident, if someone had given me a pitchfork instead of a gun or those chest-examining-things that doctors use, we wouldn't be having these problems."

Elizabeth looked at Spinelli. He just shrugged.

"Jason, honey, do you know what happened?"

"Yeah, I hired two idiots to do my harvesting. I could've made more money if I hired Francis and Ritchie instead of Max and Milo. Fuck."

"No, no, no." She grasped his chin and forced him to look at her, but even with his face angled toward her, Jason's eyes flicked back to the screen. "Jason. You took cough medicine that expired two years ago. It's making you act like this. You don't _really_ love to farm. You just feel this way because of the bad medicine."

"I do love to farm," he informed her, twisting out of her hold. "Farming is what I do now. Spinelli can shoot guns. I farm."

Elizabeth growled under her breath. "There's no getting through to him."

"What do we do?" Spinelli asked fretfully. "Is he in any danger? Is he sick?"

"It's not that serious," she conceded. "As long as it wasn't moldy, he'll be just fine."

"He wouldn't have drank it if it was moldy," the boy pointed out.

"I know," Elizabeth nodded. "The medicine might have lost some of its potency, but it's not poisonous or anything. Sometimes it just makes you a little loopy…"

"Case in point," Spinelli said, gesturing toward his mentor who was still clicking feverishly. "So…he's really going to be okay?"

She nodded slowly. "Yeah, yeah, I think so. He'll be just fine. He'll snap out of-"

"Elizabeth?"

Jason had abandoned his game and was looking at her intensely, and she was momentarily stunned by the one-eighty.

"Y-Yes?"

His blue eyes burned with urgency. "Will you buy me a cow?"

Elizabeth blinked. "Um…what?"

"A cow," he said, pointing to the screen where he had Facebook pulled up. "I need a cow for my Farmville. Will you buy me one?"

"Uh…"

"We'll buy you a cow, Stone Cold," Spinelli promised. "Sure, we will."

Jason breathed a sigh of relief and went back to the game.

Elizabeth shook her head. "I've never seen him like this. It's kind of…"

"Terrifying? Soul-crushing?"

"…Funny," she smirked. "I didn't even know Jason _had_ a Facebook account. I should send him a friend request."

"He just keeps one so he can spy on me," Spinelli pouted. "I can't even block him, because then he threatens me and it's unpleasant."

"I guess he's not harming anyone, right?" She looked over at the enforcer, the tip of his tongue poking out of his mouth in concentration, and affectionately ran her fingers through his hair. "He's just sitting here…having fun…_farming_."

"Harvesting," he corrected her without taking his eyes off the screen.

Elizabeth shrugged and looked at Spinelli. "And, hey, it looks like he's having fun. So I guess we'll just have to deal with the fact that for one night, he doesn't want to be your Stone Cold. He wants to be a farmer."

"Ugh, shoot me in the face," Spinelli muttered, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. "This can't be happening."

"Elizabeth?" Jason had turned away momentarily and was looking over at her, his eyes soft and curious.

"Yes?"

"...Do you wanna harvest with me?"

Elizabeth grinned, trying to keep from laughing. "Sure, Jason, I'll harvest with you."

He turned to Spinelli and snapped his fingers. "She needs a computer."

The boy sighed and pushed himself to his feet. "Fine. I'll go get one."

Elizabeth snickered as he trudged away, and Jason went right back to work. She watched him play and rested her head on his shoulder as she waited for Spinelli. It wasn't a bike ride to the ruins, but it'd do.

**The End. **


End file.
